https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwx7iijWzVk&t=3593s
http://stindx.com/track?v=xwx7iijWzVk&l=en&t=robot
02:34
today recovery recovery may come up but this is uh based on an idea or a possibility called non-duality and really the talks are usually about duality and so by seeing what you're taking is you know the assumption of what we are is just that an assumption so if this the assumption gets negated the whole what you are gets as what
03:06
you're not getting gated so the way you seem to arrive at non duality because you can't arrive at where you already are but you're you seem to arrive there by seeing duality yeah it's from non duality instead of looking for non duality from duality yeah you see duality the activity of yes and no I and lo just like in the situations where now there's not just all contracting terrible possibilities they're very
03:39
expanding and full of light possibilities it's always the case here in the manifestation so non duality is just a statement and it's in a way it's up to us to find out really so but how we find out is the question where we're starting from and so when you see what you're not and the seeing is not you see what you're not because you can't see what you're not you can't it's not eyes it's a winds
04:11
there's an awareness of the activities that are using that are being used to imply there's a one you see the activities and then the old logical conclusion your that gets broken and you just see the activities and you see that that that comes from the activities is implied it's not real it's and therefore you don't have to be dependent or defined by it anymore
04:40
yeah it's just a real it's a liberation that's already so yeah that's that's sort of how it is expressed just like we had that old statement from yoga's and it's translated in a lot of different ways the way I saw it at a yoga studio when I was giving a talk was gone gone gone to the other Shore on having arrived upon never having never left
05:14
yeah that's basically the whole thing so we seem to be on a shore and then we hear a possibility another Shore and then we feel for that that we're just assuming the shore we're on is not the other Shore because we want to get out of it and then we launch upon a journey of seeking and so we travel a spiritual journey and Gan Gan Gan to get to the other Shore now when we
05:45
arrive at the other Shore there's a very sudden recognition you arrived at the other Shore on having never left so basically where you thought you were that you want you needed to leave to get to where you wanted to be you were always where you wanted to be yeah so the whole the whole trip the whole packing for the trip the whole getting a nice outfit for the trip the travel agent for the trip the gate people at
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the airport for the trip all of that in a sense was unnecessary unless it was needed to convince you that it was finally unnecessary yeah so it's unnecessary and yet in the way we are dreaming ourselves out of here it may be it may have been necessary for us to get that it's unnecessary so we have do all this shit to realize we don't have to do any of them yes that's fine I
06:46
would rather start with the realization but eh it doesn't matter where you start us stop from it's just the seeing of it so gone gone gone to the other Shore means we started at another Shore that other Shore isn't true when you finally arrived at the other Shore where you think the truth is it breaks the news to you that you had upon having never left it broke the news to you you are the
07:18
other Shore yeah you are the other Shore that was there who's traveling to the other other Shore you are that what you're looking for now if that doesn't work for you or you don't feel a little bit of interest in it or suspicion or wow that would be great then maybe you're barking up the wrong tree maybe you need to do what you believe you need to do so that by doing it a lot you'll come to the same conclusion where I hope most of us are yeah which is we're not going to do
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ourselves into B we're not gonna do ourselves into being yeah that's the premise that's the invitation and so what seems to make that so unobvious and so difficult to get is the stubbornness of the other Shore the sure that you think you're on the stubbornness of what you're not by the claiming of whatever is going on so even if you have a huge
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huge event where everything was as clear and as as clear as clear can be in time that event can seemingly be forgotten yeah when what you're not starts to get remembered again which the mental state is going to do then that which you are seems to get forgotten has it been forgotten never it cannot possibly be so but it sort of seems like yeah not because there's any truth in it it's because of where it's being looked at
08:53
from so if what I am get shifted to what I'm not yeah what I am can seem to be unavailable can seem to be maybe a spiritual hope in a future probably never going to arrive there and all of this stuff all this meaning is given to what we are when we're looking at it from what went up yeah that's the dilemma and every time people try to keep fulfilling the the conditions the
09:28
let's say the hoops and the and the bars they have to jump over that which is setting up the hoops and the bars and the considerations and the qualifications just keeps changing the qualifications so you basically seemingly get stuck looking for what you are with what you are but believing you're starting from what you know it's just insane literally yeah it's insane so yet when it's in
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place it makes total sense because it has such a story that you have this it's very it's not going to be able to have another idea of you while it's entertaining this idea yeah so the the other idea of you I am what I'm looking for would totally totally dismissed the relevance of what you're not obviously yes guess what you're not is being used to look for so in a way the non-duality the recognition of
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dualities the recognition of what we're attempting to share disarms that whole drive to use what you are to look for what you are yeah and now the attention and interest is not on us conceptual idea of what I am it's on what I'm not and in seeing what I'm not I get a sense of what I am that's the that's the correction that was never needed once that's in place I mean everything you'll
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just see what happens and in seeing what happens it will verify it will reinforce it will shift the faith into that which is now being seen from yeah so now you lose interest and faith in what you're not and that interest in faith is in what you are and it changes the whole meeting of living to a much lighter form instead of having
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to get so much shit to be okay you're inherently okay while you're getting shit yeah I mean that's a huge shift it is yeah you you're not now seeking to produce a condition you are a condition seeking other fucking shit yeah yeah I want to change the physical condition I get another chair but now I'm not trying to change I see the mental state emotional state physical
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states are volatile they're changing all the time yeah what state doesn't have that quality the stateless state the inherent condition the beingness the beingness isn't being not being being not being being not being it's not always a lot of being today and then a little being a no the being went to south of being went north no it just is and then what happens is
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taking ourselves to be the emotional mental physical states we try we search to get a balance to get those states like lined up like at retreats so a retreat sets up a three-week controlled environment and they're attempting to control conditions so you eat at the same time you meditate for 13 hours you've got a little place you're not talking to anybody except for our
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teacher and stuff like that so those two or three weeks maybe everything gets lined up your brain gets a little less agitated the body's thoughts unwinding the emotional state you're not getting calls from your ex-girlfriend or the IRA IRS or whatever so now your emotional state oh it's wonderful here I never want to leave and then the physical states taking nice baths every night and stuff and so now you have it the Sunday the last Sunday of the retreat everything
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has been lined up you feel great fuck I feel peace I feel love I feel this and then you've got a lead and as you're driving away from the retreat center the shit starts kicking in again yeah yeah unfortunately maybe you have to go on the freeway there goes your fucking your mind starts getting agitated the first we sent resentment in three weeks arises motherfucker throw in the finger now you're all getting your body's too tense
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your heads going and so what's the only solution you can do is I gotta go for a six-week retreat yeah that's basically it three weeks ain't enough I mean it just got overridden by an hour being honest out of the controlled environment nots not seeing the real message in that you say I gotta do six weeks and then nine weeks and maybe even become a monk you know who knows but all there is
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dismember questioning of what's going on you just think more is gonna do it all right a three-month meet you and now they've realized oh a lot of people can't handle a retreat so it's more like a retreat vacation yeah the retreats are held in Costa Rica on the beach there's kayaking in the afternoon it's you're getting massaged so you get the spiritual cred oh yeah you're trying to overcome yourself you're trying to
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transcend yourself then you can really enjoy the vacation so now all right six weeks now the retreats are like brochures oh okay let's see what teachers are going be here it's a big less like a music list on Spotify spiritual Spotify let's see what teaches oh oh yeah Tantra okay
15:48
[Laughter] it's the same thing in recovery in a way without getting I happy I know people have such a noble calling and they've started a rehab and this and that and after years and years they're basically surrendering to let's just have harm reduction yeah we can't seem to get real relief so let's just
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say they're not burning down their parents house impregnating every girl and whatever so that's what we're gonna go for we surrendered all the parasites been a win but let's at least I was less harm yeah if you get exact nature of the wrong you can expect a more lasting fucking relief you can that doesn't demand pumping more into it all day you can it's a possibility
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not in this not in the mental frame where it was we're looking at from but outside of that behind the camera behind the camera there's a peace that passeth all understanding it's not a peace that constantly needs to be maintained it doesn't have to be fed all day it's not demanding like heroic spiritual fucking gymnastics it's basically has you established and where you never weren't established that
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you're just the way just dog should awakeness not a superhuman with light coming out of the eyes not you know I love engaged at you know you can hold for three days straight you know I mean just unbelievable like laser loving gaze ya know you'll just travel either through this light yeah you'll travel lighter exactly as you are by the realization that you're not that's that's it so now you're awake we're all awake but now you're awake to
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being awake you seem to be awake to being awake where you seem to be for to be asleep to being away the awakeness wasn't produced by you waking up yeah nor was it unproduced or unavailable by you sleeping it's just a charade with the Mirage maker yeah so now all right it's like dog shit awareness that's why we use those terms
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it's just hey give me a ribbon for recognizing what I am right now there's no big no big gold medal it's just the fact so now and then over years and years and years or your little magical thinking drops off and you realize what more did I ever want as for dreaming as Paul what more did I ever want I thought I wanted this and that this enough but really if I had a
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contentment and a satisfaction and had the unknown or unsuspected ability to travel lightest and whatever consequences life froze up yeah I would probably arrive at shortly or over time hey what more did I ever want this is the message I mean on the worst day of my life I was seeing and on the best day of my life I was seeing seeing came before all the worst and best hearing came before all
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the terrible and great there is there is no thing that's obviously the base of all of everything and that no thing isn't a long-lasting independent separate body it's not a mental fucking idea it's not the one who thinks they're the perceiver yeah it's none of that yeah it's what you are is inherently always available at all times right
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where you are with no requirement necessary other than the ones we make up yeah and the beautiful thing about those requirements if you try to live up to them they'll show you they weren't they had no power other than yours that you gave them to keep you from what you are like they say in Zen this is the gateless gate this is the open secret yeah in other words they're implying us right underneath our nose it's sort of
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like the fish having constantly - having to go to meetings that it - here that it's wet every fucking day yeah well the fact is has been wet its whole frickin life yeah when does when does the message instead of something and being entertained by the dry fish lead to a realization the wetness yeah the wetness that's inherently before every little fish named Paul and Jim and Mary and
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Tony that inherent wetness that we seem to be in at all times you know you see it one way life's fucking heavy you're dealing with shit that's being made up all day false evidence appearing real you're a wreck you're having a physiological the emotional feeling of fear with no apparent threat you're just being like a slight electrocution all day by the mental state saying what if you're a
21:57
fucking slave you're a slave being played with by the slave master that's what you are our whole day this whole day to be ruined by one thought about something else do you think that thought has that power we have that power we have that power our power is being misdirected by the mental state and it's being used by the mental state to make
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shit that's never happened seem to have happened already yeah there is a possibility of being free and it's not a journey that you're going to finally arrive at it's your inherent condition if you the horse you're using to travel to get to where you want to go get off the fucking dead horse and you realize you are the other Shore you think they were sadistic these people that say this
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do you think some sadistic said this the guy in a cave wrote this mantra gone gone gone to the other Shore upon arriving and having never left fuck you you know no it was obvious and he tried to send a little message to us so maybe while we're building the raft and getting the gear ready and dah dah dah dah maybe the whole journey could be aborted yeah maybe you can use the raft at a
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platform you swim to jump on and jump into a lovely water all day who knows it could have a different use they're being used to get to another Shore the seeker is the sort is was that some sadistic saint you know after flagellating himself he said how can i fuck people in the future the seeker is the sauce yeah do you think the message about you can't use the Buddha to seek
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the Buddha was for anyone other than the Buddha obviously was it for Zi was it for Paul was it for Tony just to drive Z Paul and Tony more insane you know am i using the Buddha to secret you know fucking we'd have a new guilt the book the guilt of using the Buddha to seek the Buddha fucking what more do we need anymore that no it was a message to the Buddha of which we are that it was a
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message to that which we are free this which were not it wasn't meant for Tony to hear the message you can't use the Buddha to seek the Buddha it was meant for the Buddha to hear the message and then look at Tony in a new light yeah that's basically the direction of the message yeah this isn't for Tony to have some new fucking novel philosophy non-duality it isn't it's to get through
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Tony not to Tony the Cathy Tony hit that unsuspecting in a resource in a most whatever you want to call it but it's not a mental activity to hit that with the clear message tapes you may not be that yeah so let's say if you're easily using the Buddha to seek the Buddha and you hear this message it may allow you to catch yourself right in the act you'll know what that's exactly what I've been doing for 30 years yes the bus
25:39
stops and you get out yeah that's the beauty of it it's not like oh this is such an interesting statement no it's meant to be applied to see if that's exactly what you were not doing yeah that's the message the message not oh that's an interesting the secret is to sort no it's meant for the seeker to let it in in a sense to get disputed immediately what because obviously the whole premise of seeking is you're not
26:08
the sort or why would you see why it would make no sense if I have a pair of pants and I'm seeking a pair of pants maybe you'd be better if someone said hey you already have a pair of pants on like oh thank you that would immediately I wouldn't be looking in the drawers for any more pants I was looking for the pants because I didn't think I had money on what someone put points it out I go well I don't keep going through them you
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know the dresser I mean I just got the message hey you got pants on already all right yeah Oh bro yep why are you trying to become spiritual you are spirit huh it hits me I and I just see my oh my last eight years of living and I realized that's exactly what I've been doing i I've been trying to become spiritual while at every moment I am
27:13
spirit Hey okay yeah my Darcy kissed me Mike I'm here and see so you know wouldn't in it don't you feel if it landed it would drop I would hope so you know there's a famous story that Romulus said once and I'm not going to get it probably perfectly right but he was talking about a woman who had a beautiful necklace yes beautiful necklace she loved it it was a very important part of her life and then one day she loses the necklace she loses the
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necklace and she goes into sort of like a depression yeah she's bummed out I lost the necklace and she starts complaining and talking to friends and they all feeling sort of you know sad for her but whatever and then they go hey could you please help me look the necklace so then they start going like a posse looking for the necklace where were you last time but on and on and on and on and then they hear that there's a guy who says he's found the necklace yeah and why don't we go to the
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meeting and see if he found the necklace so we go to the meeting and he talks about finding a necklace obviously none of us had yet but he's found the necklace so this is what I would do if you want to find the necklace and so they set off a course of action I practice we practice the lady practices but still the left the necklace is lost so socks suddenly another person comes in and says hey feel around your net and she feels around a net and there's the necklace yeah so now suddenly she's
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ecstatic I found the necklace but in fact she didn't find the necklace because I had never left the frickin net yeah the assumption was she lost the necklace that was not true taking that to be true it sent her out on a course to find the necklace when she believed she lost the necklace which it wasn't lost she was bummed out and when she believed she fought suddenly found it again she was ecstatic yeah but none of
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that those reactions were based on fact she had never lost the necklace yeah what you would what would you call that what would you call if you believe something that isn't gone was gone and it provoked like a bummed out emotion and then when what you believed was gone is suddenly found and now you're really ecstatic what you what would you call that but dreaming yes wouldn't that be dreaming you believe you're dreaming
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something that has never been lost has been lost and then you're dreaming and hoping to find it to get the joy of finally fine finding that which was never lost yeah so we're in the act of dreaming we are awakeness yeah we are awaiting us but we're taking ourselves to be something else that drives to look for a waitress like that lady was driven to look for her lost necklace yeah but in fact it was never lost
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so the looking for it reinforces the false assumption it was lost don't you see it don't you see our rolling things by when we start looking for what's not lost it seems to be freaking lost to us yeah this is the message feel around your neck yeah have you lost consciousness you believe
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you've you've left the whatever but you haven't left the qualities seeing consciousness is that what you see here we feeling tasting touching you haven't lost any of that yeah so the whole assumption that sets all these journeys afoot is false what more do you need at least start there at least let's negate what isn't true and then find out what is true instead of trying to find out what is true why what ain't true
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let's just see it ain't true and then we'll find out what so yeah that's sort of the correction and when if it hits you in a in a strong way or whatever I tell you it tells you it's always been this way it's what it does when you arrive at the other Shore you realize you've never left yes it doesn't like I arrived at the other Shore and then five years later no as soon as you arrive at the shore it tells
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you you never laugh it's always been you you are you're a citizen of the other Shore yeah and enough of us have gone gone god I would say some of us if we wrote that mantra it would have been gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone Gaga and we would have had 20 different tour guides gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone and then yet the saints
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occurs when you arrive at the other Shore you realize you never left yes basically it was the other shore traveling to the other Shore and the longer the journey the more to Moyer in a sense of delusion and then maybe you'll find you don't want to be spiritual seriously you may not want to be spiritual as a spirit you may not you may not you may
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just Friday yeah I don't know but I'll tell you to me this idea is like the Rock of Gibraltar it is it is it's like the infinite North Star it's just and you'll know it you'll feel it in your gut it's not like oh I have to seek
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an authority to verify this no you fucking don't you'll feel it in your gut you'll know before you ever knew anything yeah so all right Mike yeah I could go on and on but let's go to open the squares open the squares and you want to anybody want to raise their little hands and their little spirits I'd like to have a garage
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door for each square with a remote I can keep them in anyone who had a question I keep the door closed so they finally realize that the answer yeah Oh J LaRue's must ask a question can you hear me yes alright um well first I just want to say thank you because you saved
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me a lot of fucking time I traded in the cooker and the ring for the bodhisattva journey back in 2013 I went from Johnny Thunders the fucking Ram Dass and a couple days and so I was doing all kinds of practices staring at candles for 10 hours fire casino shit and now somehow I came across you in 2016 and I thought oh this is kind of interesting and something happened and long story short
35:59
I cancelled the 10-day Goenka retreat that I was going to and I don't know the idea of stabilizing you know you were talking about that at the beginning like I started I started fucking with like harding's practices and stuff and I thought that wow I'm starting to like coax the philosopher's stone out of matrix or something you know I wanted to arrive at this Omega point and I was seeing that there was thought based way of being in the world and also being here with what the present so I was like
36:30
oh wow I'm on to awakening you know and I was able to like kind of like modulate that back and forth I'll be driving and I'd be me as I was always driving and then it would be like me driving in the worlds like pouring in at me and I thought all cool now I just got a purify or something you know and I can really get this thing right and then I realized that even that idea of of it stabilizing is just another appearance in consciousness and then when it was like that right when I realized that that's when I said all right I'm not gonna go with this ten-day Goenka retreat I think I I got it kind of an understanding and
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now that we're in quarantine and all that it's like if it wasn't for hearing the message the way you presented it i mean i there was a good chance I'd be staring at a fucking candle for 10 hours but instead playing the garden with my girlfriend I'm learning relearning old Johnny Thunders licks you know that I played as a kid claimed my guitar and I'm actually enjoying that time and that metaphor that you gave about like love's knocking at your door and you're like get the fuck out of here after an emotive state that was totally me you know and I just
37:33
wanted thank you for that yeah I I guess the question is more about like peace a lot of people Eckhart Tolly Adi Shanti they want to like dress this thing up like it's just like you're gonna arrive at some mega mega poney or whatever and it's like they're doing it seems like a lot of people in the Nandu allottee world are doing people a disservice you know it's uh you know it's like I don't
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know man I just want to thank you because you know you saved me a lot of time and and one more thing really quick when I type in Zen bitch-slap and YouTube and Google you know there's a lot of people out there that don't have a sense of irony and so the algorithms make you type out the whole thing you know that might be hurting you here's my sales pitch change from Zen bitch-slap to bypassing spirituality you said that one time man it cracked me up man that
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cuz there's so many people that you know I'm a social worker and so many people are just all about spiritual emergency bypass your spiritual bypassing you can't you know whatever yes like fuck man what you want to do yeah I call it a it's on the highway of life it's called a spiritual bypass drive around all the dead vehicles all right you know bypassing
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spirituality yes that will show up you know when you go you type in bypass but in the up there it is you clean they have an ulterior motive with the Zen bitch-slap anyway okay yeah it doesn't uh yeah we've always been we've been always been putting roadblocks in our own organizational growth I'll tell you what you know what
39:50
I used to listen to it when I first discovered you I was very much on the past you know so I was listening I was going back listening and I and I still could say that I probably listen to then bitch slap at least twice a week still but it's not because I'm trying to get you know today Yogananda it's like it's like more the humor is great and it's a kind of a reminder and I still like Harding to I still you know everyone so I'll open up I'm having go ahead check it out for the count just reminds you you know you can get I still get lost in
40:21
you know the stories and shit but I'm just not identified with it or whatever and it's like what else did I ever watched exactly yes I like Harding the way he writes yeah yeah yeah so and the point like see it's only the action figure would stop itself from start saying out of some weird aesthetic you know view yeah
40:50
which this is you know like almost like non-duality Puritanism or something it's so it's weird it's weird it's nice to see you Jay finally yeah you're welcome thank you thanks Jay by the way you can type in Paul head and it'll fill in and
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go to Zen bitch-slap anyway a little shorter C and then C and Harding's argument would be on having no head [Laughter] so I'm cut out of there already I like that that was a future prophecy trying to tell you having no heads well the funny thing is when I first started
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getting into Harding I was like all right cool now I know as soon as my head fucking disappears I'm gonna be there and everything's gonna be like I got it's all a you know just loving gaze everything's blissed-out and it's just you know looking back the credulity it was just you know everything it's really embarrassing you know well yeah yeah that leads to huge amount of humor yeah I don't see I don't think like they used to say you
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know this is the drama of life I would much see it more as a comedy of life in a way that son of I mean even the stuff that was so terrible if you lived through it you laugh like hell about it later because yeah yeah all right so who's Sonia Sonia gee yeah I'm Sonia I'm Paul thank you so much I said before
42:55
I've seen you speak in Studio City and I've come on a few times and have a few your birth right the reason that I raised my little hand there was you said a few things that just really impacted me in an emotional on an emotional level which i think is a beautiful thing and one of the things you said is I'm inherently okay more is not enough I'm
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awake to being awake you are spirit and negate what isn't true and discover what is true the that just moved me because I always the for recovery was always in fear and um and the message that I'm hearing from you is there's nothing to be afraid of except the delusion or the dreaming
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that what is real what isn't real is real that is the only thing to be afraid of am i understanding you correctly all I know is that I feel more than okay right now and I want to thank you for that well thank you thank you for that share and you know we also lowball the
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message you know traveling light and you know you'll be okay you will really be okay at yeah yeah Thank You Sonia very nice nice clarity of whatever I'm in a great mood today you seem very light all right Thank You
45:22
Sonia yeah all right who's who's next thanks you know it's a very zoom has been a zoom is a trippy platform but I find maybe because I'm not meeting you live I'm fine I'm feeling a strong fondness to everybody that's good all right so who Gary see ya all right Gary
46:04
hi hey good yeah hi so I was thinking this morning during my quiet time about how you talk about see if I can say right how self-knowledge avails us nothing but knowledge of self yes and I was just
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curious about that you know it's like I get that knowledge you know like you say that there's a lot of people out there that know a whole bunch of stuff but that avails them nothing but but then you say and here's the tricky part with the words knowledge of self is a helpful thing but but it's not head knowledge right when you said know yourself that's
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an even they start there and they start there but usually has enough weight to drop so yeah it's it's a it's an awareness it's just it's a seeing like you say you know the self knowledge of ELLs as nothing comes out of the big book a recovery and the way I see it is if what you're not especially in this topic yeah if what you're not is
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claiming to have the knowledge of what you are it doesn't a value anything yes because you are that in with so it's other ways the knowledge becomes a disservice or determined yeah because of the because of the fact that underlies all of non-duality which is you are what you're looking for yeah yeah so that's why that knowledge
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doesn't value anything because yes you're trying to study these concepts that are presented as what you are as what you're not yeah so it doesn't go anywhere but if you could turn that around and study that that activity of the claiming yeah that activity of of what's implying and assuming what you're not in seeing that that opens up a lot of possibilities
48:44
that don't seem available the other way yeah I guess what's confusing is a similarity of language you know it sounds like knowledge self knowledge and knowledge of self they sound like they well they're just different things you know just a different turnaround but thinking about it it's it's it's not the same thing it's yes we use a similar words but but but the awareness is different yes though you're onto
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something yeah that's why we emphasize that it's all how we see things yeah it is we are that that's why when what's representing us as us something occurs it affects everything because we're the seeing of everything yeah we're giving everything all the meaning it has where we have a huge role going on here and we keep getting samples of that but they
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usually get over I did because self tries to gain it as knowledge yeah yeah and it doesn't go anywhere so when you start having knowledge of self you'll see why self-knowledge doesn't value anything that's that does it that comes from knowledge of self yeah yeah see what I mean yeah yeah from self knowledge you may know a lot about a lot of shit but you're not getting that but the knowledge of that is has value in my
50:21
fear my yeah yeah this trick is to heal through the words what you're talking about well yeah it's not much of a trick once you get the flavor of it it actually becomes pretty seamless once you see it's almost as if you and I have been fed a certain logic and that logic is very very claustrophobic and it doesn't allow a lot of possibilities so if you
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keep being if you are if your whole finding out in this place is based on that mental logic it's really you're not finding out much really you're just redoing and rehashing and rethinking and refueling but if you could see that you got a little bit didn't come through
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there with the audio is that is that my audio missing yeah we see now I can hear you yeah I think there was another one that got a muted and it's not muting for me I'm at your but maybe I don't hear him anymore but it seems like sometimes like I start out like I was thinking of that I think it's a Bob Dylan there's no
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success like failure and failures no success at all it feels like I'm trying to you know succeed as a as what I'm not and I fail that's success yeah NBC that's it's just sort of like the logic let's say the logic of recovery you have
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it by giving it away now most cocaine dealers don't have that logic that wouldn't make any sense to their logic yeah why would I fucking give away my cocaine yeah so basically it's the message always is directed to tickle that one let's say court logic logic as a comparison it's not logic but that one intuitive sense you know knowing before
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knowing and it's job is to get through the other logic now the other logic believes it's the one that's getting the information and it tries to make it what's logical to it now that can be going on seemingly unbeknownst big notes to us and that's the information we try to share the warnings of how that system keeps claiming even the evidence of its own
53:33
non-existence it claims yes yeah so it's constantly constantly and if you don't know it you're gonna be looking from it it's going to seemingly be it won't even be anything you're drawn to look at you'll just assume oh yeah that's the case it's the case for everybody it's the case yeah this message is just a offer a possibility and then mostly give warnings about the system and how it's
54:07
going to the message is going to erupted that system into it's gonna it's going to provoke that system to show itself really I mean like we talked about it though for first few weeks where people at one point they start seeing what they just assumed was them and they see it from another position and that's a big moment so now they see what we're using
54:39
the word self to imply but then they believe it's them the real them seeing that they don't have they don't know that that's also so it's also the selfing claiming the viewing of the selphie yeah so like the mornings we try to share with people because those activities are happening and what's really gonna be and they happen and have effects in the state of us not knowing it now they'll happen and may not have
55:12
effects with the state of us knowing yeah with us being awake the shit that gets created or made out of all that those assumptions will be severely limited yeah because we are you know we play a huge role not as a person but as what we are so it's the cases without knowing it a lot of shit gets permission to go off so if you just change well knowing it
55:44
yeah not knowing it as self but knowing it seeing it that has a huge effect of what's gonna come after without knowing it yeah if you just change that one little part of the equation so without knowing it I ended up in all these fucked up situations I didn't see my role in things I'm now in jail for forty years oh that sort of seems like a that's fucked so what about knowing it Oh before you ended up in jail for forty
56:15
years far out the whole is is we're just we're stating a new fact that you're awake and now let's become awake to a lot of shit that we haven't entertained the possibility of being awake to that's all the awakeness is all there we're not saying anything about that but let's build on that yes it's a sound foundation so now here's what here's how what you're not gets gets presented as what you are is is you can see it I've
56:50
seen it you know I seen the number of it yeah and so you can share that from the platform of awakeness as being an inherent condition and alright let's see what's going on yeah so that maybe it won't be able to fulfill its mission yeah and jackpot us in what situation we never wanted to be in and or doing something we never wanted to do so let's just see see what
57:18
happens yeah I I'm telling you the best all the information we're sharing hopefully is based on the platform of life light yeah a when hmm we're not talking about awareness we're talking about what we're not aware of so that we can become a winner become aware of that we don't have we don't become aware we are aware we're pointing out what we can become aware of which is the thief and
57:53
the policeman routine so how the mental state keeps freaking claiming life and giving us an interpretation based on it's fucking myopic view yeah it doesn't give us much to work with it really doesn't and so many of us are driven to get loaded they try to get out of it really I mean there is just rampant addiction here rampant I mean alcohol and drugs it's just a minor this rampant addiction so this is just about all
58:26
right you are the light that you're using to look for life yeah let's get that done get that out of the way okay that gets that's establish you don't establish it it's established and now from there start looking start seeing and what you're gonna see is a lot of what you're not and a lot of what you're not is implying it's about you which you're not and therefore all of its shackles and definitions and logic and this is how it is all of that that we
58:57
feel like we can't get out of now you can see that you were never in that's the beauty of the message hmm that's the beauty of the message this and it wouldn't be not this all right hey telling someone they're awake doesn't get through it doesn't yeah telling Alliant that it's a lion doesn't get through because there's something going on that has seemingly convinced the lion
59:27
it's a sheep and without addressing that you're never gonna be the lion you're gonna try to be the lion like a sheep yeah you're gonna you're gonna limit the qualities of a lion and sit the Sheep this yeah and you're gonna think oh I'm okay but I won't be tomorrow so we can keep pledging allegiance to the Sheep er yeah oh don't worry I really feel incredibly good but I'm gonna be fucked up next week I'm just like everyone else this is unbelievable
59:59
tyranny we're living on their we keep tithing to it we keep fucking giving it attention in it we don't but there's just if the action figure is going to have to have a master there's you know look at how the other master has treated you do you want to lift by that direction well there is a possibility yeah there is it's not gonna be as that you're not gonna rehabilitate it you're not gonna make it
01:00:31
you know your friend but you're gonna get space you're gonna see it from a new point not its own point but a point yeah a pointless point and in seeing that you're gonna come to some damn fucking important conclusions I'm not that and then seeing that that triggers the possibility of being aware as awareness not being aware as fall but being aware as awareness yeah that's the point of
01:01:06
this of the of the talks is to because the deep mental grooves you'll be you'll be you'll seemingly seemingly it will keep telling you you've fallen into the rut again all this to the road again and then but it's you know and the self will appear as the policeman appear as the thief it'll appear as the you know the tow truck driver it's going to claim whatever what it's just constantly in its little show it's just
01:01:39
one character playing all the characters yeah it pull its whole magic trick is its wardrobe change it's just constantly there's an assumption it's you talking about all the use you've discovered aren't you and so here we are and yeah here we are so I wanted to just mention that a lot of
01:02:11
times I you say something I can't even relate I don't even know if the word is but it like something in my head just goes turned around and it's like confusion I think what's happening you you're where you said confused what I'm not and I turn on but I can't but it but it's sort of like it's it it's permanently confused really yes
01:02:44
great in this world languages like the gun of this of the selfing we're using its own gun on it yeah we're gonna overwhelm it with verbal jazz into the real theme of things yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:03:14
all right Melanie yeah so Paul I was just wondering I mentioned about you know chasing the spiritual journey can be a dick addiction it's like swap in addictions as you go along in your recovery and I'm probably kind of being that face for some time so anomalous to you and thinking I'm getting this and then you save someone else and I think I'll clear what he's on about now I'm
01:03:48
thinking I'm getting there with the understanding and then it just slips away so the question is if you wish to share on this path is at what point when you were chasing this spiritual journey didn't could you mentioned about meditating for 13 hours of blardy blardy blar retreats at what point did this different realization come to you when you stopped chasing that spiritual
01:04:17
journey like an addiction you mean what point in time yeah well what was it that changed in you there's something I'm stopping all I don't like boys really it was an observation that I had stopped all that I didn't make I didn't make a declaration I'm stopping all that I just noticed I stopped all that right so maybe it's like we've talked about the sepals I'm rowdy you've talked about the
01:04:50
c-plus as I call it you know like following the sheep and all that like media stuff and everything else so because I don't want all that and being indoctrinated and led the way I'm supposed to be thinking as a sheeple so I've got nothing to these to the kind of venture but yeah I don't want to go back into that by being by not being in this one to get me I'm having a little trouble with the sound of it again
01:05:23
you're afraid of the sheeple yeah I don't want to be you know brainwashed into what society wants me to be I want to be my own person and think for myself but I'm more inclined to leave because I don't like all that stuff and being indoctrinated Eileen Marta like a freely thinking spiritual side which are getting to all these different and ideas and concepts but just what I wonder start
01:05:54
if you're saying stop hold up because that's like an addictive because you're already there but then that leaves me back into that of the world of being a sheeple well no no I'm not saying stop all that I'm just showing that there could be a concurring activity that's sorting what you think is your agenda by doing all that yes in other words something else maybe giving it a meeting
01:06:25
that you are not aware of yeah so that's what see my feeling when I met spirituality I thought spirituality sort of had a built-in immunity to any kind of bullshit because there was such a noble calling but I I found that not to be true and I've spoken at a lot of different spiritual groups and I can see that addictive quality finding a home
01:06:57
there yeah I'm not saying it's caught it's always gonna be that way but it's prevalent it's pretty much if you look at it as as a cockroach there's an infestation so to speak yeah so that's what I'm talking about the idea see I'm questioning the idea of the one that's afraid of being a sheeple and the one that's afraid of something else I don't believe there's that one yeah yes that's
01:07:29
what we're really talking about because see what was stated this is how I see it so there was a statement of something they had claimed that statement to imply Melanie Melanie gets presupposed before the statement now melody doesn't want to be a sheeple yeah mm-hmm I don't I'm questioning Melanie the idea of Melanie so maybe you'll lose interest in not being a sheeple and then you'll realize you're not wanting to be a sheeple as
01:08:01
part of being a sheep [Laughter] things will love me not more that's all I'm just saying but I don't care about I don't care I'm not telling people to stop doing anything or start doing anything I'm just questioning the idea of the doer and the starter and the stopper really again I'm speaking I'm not speaking of two audiences but it
01:08:35
looks like two audiences I'm trying to just to speak to what you are yeah using the language of what you're not yeah so that's it's a weird thing so the language of what you're not is there to keep what you're not busy so that the message can get through to what you are and basically is the strategy of it and I didn't come up with it I've observed it over the year yeah so the words I forget immediately the feeling of the
01:09:06
talk I never forgotten but the words I forget all the time because the words aren't the importance of it the words that inner confuse what we're not yeah try to overwhelm it with thinking and then hopefully there'll be a gap where there'll be a recognition and that the feeling that or sense that's being conveyed by being in the sense will get through and because you're in the sense there'll be real communication from
01:09:37
sense of that to send some back yeah that's what's really going on this is just a huge charade to keep the fucking action figure busy trying to figure shit out or not what the hell is he talking through yeah and you know instead of like you know being in prison and all your letters get edited before you get them we're gonna get the message we've got to get through yeah so I'm concerned
01:10:10
with what when Melanie is spoken what does why does it imply because I don't believe what it implies the language and what's yapping in it I don't believe what it implies is what so I don't yeah I just don't so I'm always interested in not what Melody's doing or not doing but in the idea of Melanie being the doer or the doctor that's where I'm more interested in yeah and then the other
01:10:43
two doing in and not doing works themselves out they really do yeah I just want to see I mean if we're on if we're on a game board and the game board knowing it or not is defined by the square zero I think as the boot and the Eiffel Tower it would be nice to know you know yeah I start at square zero not all take place or you know whatever I just feel like it just then blue becomes blue and everything becomes
01:11:15
clear yeah because we're living under a lot of assumptions that aren't true they're just not and the biggest one is the the idea of the one who has all the assumptions that's the biggest assumption and I don't you know there's tons of people that'll help you you know weaken the assumptions effect those assumptions I don't give a shit about the plethora of assumptions that are based on that original assumption I give that's what I care that's what I'm interested is in the original yeah yeah
01:11:47
I don't want to become you know having a fucking wild garden and be you know cult you know be a landscaper of it I don't want to fucking try to put a wild garden put shape on it I just want to see what's happening yeah from what's happening not from a fucking story about what happened and what's gonna happen I just want to see it and I have and I do yeah that's what I want all my desire
01:12:17
for transcendence got totally blown out on water because I truly believe this is an imaginary place this is dreaming yeah and I also believe my wanting to get out of it made it as real as real can be my wanting to escape made the prison seem real that's that logic has been seamless all the way since that logic of hey I can't get out of an imaginary place is the
01:12:47
logic is what I'm trying to call talk about comparing it to another logic the mental action it's that it's like hey I don't need to get into in a moment I can never be out of the moment there you go that's that works I don't need to constantly get out of self I'd never been in self that works yeah before I was based on the other way I thought I was out of a lot of moments yeah and there so therefore as soon as I
01:13:18
got a taste I wanted to practice spirituality to get into the moment and then the whole idea of getting out herself was I really believe I was in self and then getting out of self don't you own the see that getting out of self seems to reinforce self it's just obvious if you look when you when you let their self let's say and you got a car and then you hit the gas and you speed up and you look in the rearview mirror it seems that be even closer you
01:13:49
never seem to get away from why well that's what I'd like to find out yeah why is it that all my efforts never fucking succeeded I mean I shot coke truly at the as of as a spiritual vehicle I shot coat to put my mental physical condition to such a point of near-death that I thought there would be a break of that identification with this physical and mental and I would see
01:14:20
spirit it didn't work I can't get out of and imagine everything as an imaginary thing that's the logic I live under now yeah so what happens I'm not making much effort in at that direction anymore I don't try to get out of me as me I don't ever yeah it's none I know it's like oh I don't it doesn't happen yeah because just like I had a just I was
01:14:56
convinced of the condition I was a convinced of a fact March 21st 1988 I had been living in denial of that fact since I was about six years old it didn't change the fact but it sure changed the effects of it when I realized the fact yeah then I'm not managerial quality and I'm fucked yeah that that allowed a lot of new
01:15:27
possibilities while I was in denial of that well I believe there's a much much much much more basic denial going on right now the Course in Miracles captures it on a I think pays for 68 it says firm in faith in what you're not and active denying what you are yeah you obviously take what you're not to be you that's what happens paraphrasing it that's the activity yeah
01:15:59
so we're it where it yeah either we have faith in what we're not or we have faith in the infinite it's going to do something wherever it goes yeah and I definitely know what you're not can profess it's going to turn it it's faith over to the infinite it's just more faith than what you're not that is clear hopefully it's clear to any recovered alcoholic so now something is going to allow that shift and it ain't going to
01:16:31
be what you're not yeah and then you'll find yourself trusting something infinite woo but not as what you're not not as what you're not yeah you'll be in trusting it'll be a verb trusting something infinite you won't be doing it as a now no freakin way they'll be faith in something infinite yes and it will be an activity the noun has nothing the fucking to do with it that's where that's what happens the
01:17:03
faith in the noun is moved to the faith in the infinite yes you don't go along you get left behind in a sense what you're not doesn't come along it's not like you know buckaroo and his sidekick there's no sidekick buckaroo realizes he was never the sidekick you never know does it needs a sidekick yeah yeah so alright
01:17:34
let's do one more I guess so okay okay thank you Thank You Melanie fantastic yeah thank me anybody else wanna raise their hand James James James hey man I just wanted time in cuz I like to UM but I really appreciate what all the other squares we're talking about can identify so much with it I I mean I don't I think it when I was at my Broca stand facing legal problems I was trying to figure out how
01:18:09
to go on a 10 day intensive yeah because that would fix everything but what I noticed and I just wanted to share because it seems to kind of come up on in this a lot is that when the urge to drink went away it was like when a headache goes away you don't know exactly what it happened you can just all of a sudden realize you're no longer under the urge to drink all the time it's like you notice it after the fact
01:18:42
and a lot of traveling lighter seems to be like that all of a sudden I noticed the aspects of myself that used to be a big problem just don't seem to be as much of a problem anymore it just it's coming after the fact noticing which you know I always wanted some big awakening thing and I mean I've had some experiences and stuff like that but but really just noticing at some point I'm not under the influence of certain mental habits anymore is is
01:19:16
awesome really it's yes yes I really just did it by that like that guy said I was like a square a square J dude I just listen to FIFA your videos for about five years or four years and then all of a sudden uh I'm not going in a porcupine mode over this anymore Irv yeah my this resentment I had for 47 years anyway
01:19:46
let me share with you the same thing has happened here the mess that this this is not the message is not a Paul's message obviously yeah we know that but I wish I could share about it clear of
01:20:21
that which can notice you know and observe the the repository of noticing and observing yes I'm not that nor is it it's just a clear it's just clear yeah so remember this message is all of ours yeah yes that's the only the easiest message to the liver is a message that's
01:20:54
already a fact yes it's already a fact basically the weight of the message is more about the warnings concerning how the message seems to be co-opted seems to be the important word it's appearing as if it's been forgotten or something like that it hasn't but yes in this illusory event which is dreaming that which we are is is dreaming it's not yeah so there you go so then we we try
01:21:27
to point out the warnings of how the dreamt is going to be constantly reasserted yeah especially in this venue because this is the Dreaming yeah and just to allow that to be noticed so that it doesn't it can't follow through on its effect so to speak and then you start seeing it as mechanical and uh and you just see it a lot of ways yeah just
01:21:59
keep seeing more and more and and all the downloads I've had is how to really basically the download is a talk it's attempting to express the image it's trying to express in a way that can get through you to you yeah that's why we didn't go to the loving gaze way because I figured when there's the loving gaze the head regroups
01:22:32
I think it did have to be not oh here's a glass of water take your time drinking it no you want it fucking Oh get them wet like fast so they can't seem to breathe like almost spiritual waterboarding yeah and then that which is is notice yes or yeah whatever it does and it works and so when you share or jace air or other people share that it's worked you know
01:23:02
it's awesome it's not like it's it's a joy to see it working but I know it works yeah and the end of joy is to see it working yeah it's it's awesome because I know it's brought about a traveling lineup for everyone that's entertained it seriously yeah and really want more you know as an action figure what better thing to be used for than delivering
01:23:34
good news yeah yeah so because I used to deliver a lot of shitty news so I'm happy my paper routes change yeah so hey I'm gonna what time is it now there's a big race has a good question what time is it might it's too I mean I three alright one more a joy all right I think I'm thinking better of it but all right Joyce can you and meet yourself all I
01:24:11
meet you okay I'm you Joyce where are you hear me yes okay I'll just go yes I've been listening to your talks for many many many years and I hear what other people are saying and I couldn't agree more in terms of it taking me off my you know I got a look at the candles
01:24:44
or meditate for two hours or whatever it is that's great however at the same time I'd say I don't see any problem with your approach and going to a going to retreat I think the Lanka Retreat is fantastic because like I wanting to get into shape I'm going to bootcamp and someone's making you do all this crap you can take it leave whatever but you're basically in the first place twelve hours and it's I mean it's a good discipline if you're wanting it so I don't really see you know following you is not doing that
01:25:15
following you I don't even know what that means that you know that's it I probably should stop usually a chummy I go on too long so so I don't know what's Jax Lee said I would cuss it's the phone rang so can you say it again not to comment on other peoples but in previous conversations there are marks about and
01:25:47
I get it that you're kind of focus not on practices not on trying to achieve something we're already there I won't repeat it is kind of enough to make someone not want to go on a retreat but I would throw in there my two senses if I get a chance to go to especially a Goenka retreat because it's free and it's boot camp and there's not a lot of talking that it's not in any way not aligned with what you're saying it's just an it's just like if I needed to
01:26:18
get into good shape I could go to a you know boot camp and do exercises and all that so I think olenka is a great place to just sit by yourself and shut up and it makes you do it so the exactly Joyce you're pointing the go anchor retreats meaning doesn't come from the go anchor retreat it comes Watts before yeah so the theming person before it the going to retreat could be a great service or it could be a
01:26:50
disservice right yes that's the thing yeah that's the point and you'll to find out yourself that's the point you start finding out yourself you don't have to ask 20 people should I shouldn't go you know I you know and if you don't go it's fine and if you go it's fine yes do you know so it's never that the event itself is neutral in a way we give it
01:27:22
the meaning it has yeah and then that which gives it the meaning will give the meaning it has wallets going on and they'll make a different meaning of it when it's over yeah yes it does I remember when I was young and I'd go out on the weekend get drunk and everything like that piss on the bed get you know fuckin arrested when I went to school I say how we had a great time yeah it wasn't a great time at all it sucked
01:27:54
the whole weekend but in the head this gives it a new meaning and goes on and on and on and on so I'm trying to point out how important what where you are is because you're giving what comes after you the meaning it has and some of our meaning we're giving it is that that was come after can really fuck with me now yeah this is the dilemma so now if you see what you're not from what you are you will see the statement and know it's
01:28:26
true even though it doesn't pan out but the principles troops you and out you and I outshine everything you and I outshine circumstances and situations that's the possibility yeah now if that hits something like I feel like I'm a victim of circumstances situations you may have now just discovered what you're not yes this is the point Gawain Conoco Inc I don't give a shit
01:28:56
what I care about is just to know what's going on here to know it to know the mental states mechanisms to know it a little bit so that we don't live in a 90% of without knowing it and then about 8% of drip drip drip information which usually comes after all these tons of consequences we would have loved to have avoided me yeah in like me poverty or
01:29:27
like in recovery you live a consequential level you don't know something's gonna yes at least now oh then you suddenly you can see everything from the blueprint room so before you gets caught with that house with that terrible mortgage you know symbolically and then you find out am I going to get out of this it's fuckin seems impossible you'll see the house in a blueprint for me you won't move in it
01:30:03
alright that's it for me nice to see aspire to say something quick whoo Jay Jay you got really quick I was just gonna say you know if your intention of going to a going good retreat is it you're gonna have this experience that somehow you can map on to your body and your mind then that's a false assumption there if somebody wants to gang out and have the retreat go ahead and do it but you know the experience is gonna be so rad I would say five dried grams of psilocybin mushrooms Wow looking for the
01:30:34
break the spiritual break before you're looking for the accelerator which that's what these going to retreats and IMS and all of them are doing that's all I got I've tried all those two and I'm still you guys you guys can fight it out after the talk save your money have some wrestling wrestling I give up just hold on a minute and I'll be right there
01:31:09
I got a you turn it because I got to like demanding calls I'll be right there Mike well I was just thinking about how in our talking it's the minds always jumping from one thing to another it's a dual pair so like for me there's me by itself being just experience of life as this individual but the for that or something is what drives me crazy okay
01:31:50
because it's not present it's not simple it's not expected right I found that entertaining for me for me for me otherwise you get otherwise the me thinks it's self centered and then it goes down that hole you know you could do so if it's better to just look at the for the purposing thinking that something is always down the road you know that's more helpful for me to see that time aspect hey Mike I'm gonna say hey Jess just
01:32:21
lock guard from Ireland nice to see you we got Glenda from Ireland oh so I'm just gonna say hello to everyone and then take off I think for a while yeah okay all right let's say boney again how I honey Boswell yes Judith listening out in Hawaii fantastic Vladislav nice to see you nice to see
01:32:53
you brother thank you oh you welcome Tara nice to see you Gary fantastic questioning today yeah read Richard ah mr. Ginetta yes they're parked in their mobile living room let's call me up soon I will yeah let me see we got yo.hannes nice to see you again
01:33:22
Ahmad sunny sunny who has to leave that living leave in an hour yes all right we got Mickey we got Ricardo a lot of people today I don't know if I can get to everyone but just get the message to all of your Stacey fantastic Yahara did I say that right thank you nice to see you thank you we got John here nice to see you rob nice to see you
01:33:54
there Harry fantastic nice to see you honey give us a call Emilia will be home in a half hour Maggie very nice somebody's dog Kelly it's nice a lot of anonymous people that's good and yeah if I didn't say hello to you I'm sorry but it's very nice to see you we're going to will be again here Wednesday at 7:00 Saturdays 130 Tuesdays
01:34:30
and Thursday ten-thirty all of them am they're all pacific time we do recovery we're opening up the t-shirt thing on the website and just check them out if you like and and yeah thanks for all the support all the people who have supported me and yeah appreciate it very much and also i really really appreciate is your attention and interest because
01:34:59
that's extremely extremely valuable yeah thanks Richard nice to see you Trevino yeah everybody yeah some of these people that throughout in the emails for years I'm really appreciating to see you call over there Keith everybody I'm back with Judith and yes Sarah and might that's hmm yeah we've we
01:35:31
got Roman Roman and Barbara thanks for all the support guys Donna thank you yeah Joyce thanks always good to see is Christine in Youngstown you're looking very young Christine yes and don't forget Luna Luna oh yeah yeah blowing kisses you know your your granddad is a little crazy nice to see you Sylvester Mike again
01:36:11
very good Jay thank you Tony fantastic I hope you're well Tony yeah stay in touch see thanks for all the water that you bring into my life I appreciate it I'm gonna take off thanks thanks guys I think I got a high alright see ya see ya
01:36:42
Jay yeah yeah thanks million hey thanks a lot Mike of course James you know you know it yeah thank you what I love you guys I gotta see the assignment with you all every week you Mike it's great
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